I Will Survive

Radiotherapy treatment imagining of Kat Caverly, Feb. 24, 2014

I have been blessed with more than enough of the stubborn needed to survive even the worst. Nature and Nurture have given me the strength, and somehow I found the courage when I needed it most. I never seemed to have the choice. Quitting is not in my nature. Working hard is in my nurture.

It took a few months, during chemotherapy, for me to realize no matter what happened next I would be fine. Even if this cancer metastasizes after 5, 10, even 20 years, I will be fine with it. Of course I hope we are vanquishing this beast. I am even given the hope of a cure from all of my doctors. There is no guarantee, but there never was. I didn’t know how much longer I had before I got cancer. And now after cancer, I still don’t know how much longer I have. Nothing’s changed.

I survived the chemotherapy. I survived the surgery. I am surviving the radiotherapy, and the end of these treatments is nigh. I’ve already scheduled a consult with my medical oncologist for the day after my final radiation treatment, getting ready for five years of hormone abatement and medical monitoring. If I can make it five years without a recurrence my risk of death by this cancer plummets. I plan to make it and then some.

Dr. Zoe, my surgeon, told me not to worry about the risk of metastasis. I have better chances of surviving this cancer, an 83% chance, but who’s counting! I’ve beaten much worse odds.

The artist’s life has prepared me well for all of this. The odds have always been against my success as an artist, but that never stops me. Now that the odds are in my favor, and better than 50-50, I am giddy from all this hope. Getting cancer was never on my Bucket List, but now that I’ve been forced into the club I am making the most of it. Like my current portrait, taken with the VisionRT system, I make cancer look good.